wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
