Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
