these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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