..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the day after is always just damage control
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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