literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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