Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
