what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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