I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
