I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we're so committed to being not committed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
