i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
