It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
