i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
