If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
