I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
