Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
