she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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