Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think brook has ever known best
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
