Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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