Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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