it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
