Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
