we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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