With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
