this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
