Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
