in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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