I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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