either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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