took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
