Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So much rum. So many feels.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
