Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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