I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
