i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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