hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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