Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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