I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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