am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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