Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.