Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.