Non-Jews are for practice
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
