drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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