I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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