are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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