You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize