Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just had sex bonerless
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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