talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
