Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
