he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
