You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
