Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
