He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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