at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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