I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
bring money and cleavage
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
