the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
