i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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