I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
