We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
