if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
