She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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