Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
