HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
