lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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