Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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