Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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