grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
