he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
