fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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