It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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