I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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