Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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